I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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