Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house