first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
