Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
