Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
