I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
