He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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