Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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