I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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