i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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