I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
