Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
