And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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