with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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