Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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