i jhust puked up my retainher.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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