Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm having to shit out rocks
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