Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
