You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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