so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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