I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Me too!
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
