when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize