This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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