Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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