More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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