We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
