Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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