how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
