What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
