i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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