Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
