I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
