do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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