Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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