Your face is a jimmy john
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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