gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
