How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize