i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
