During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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