Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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