worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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