Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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