I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
