Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I intend to get homeless drunk
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
