So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
