a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize