Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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