I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not cheating when I paid for it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
don't judge my taste in strippers
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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