I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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