I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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