try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
