So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
