Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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