You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
