I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
