So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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