Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
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He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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