youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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