our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
