I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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