im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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