Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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